Flora London Marathon 2009

Today my house was pretty much fenced in. We were cut off from two sides by 35000 people.

Marathons are amazing events. The atmosphere is just incredible. If spirit could have been something tangible, it would be walking around here. Every spectator, lined along the roadside, clapping and cheering for every runner.

The 12-mile mark.

On Tower Bridge.

The most inspiring were the athletes in the wheelchairs. Didn't manage to catch the elite group whiz by, but saw a couple of 'normal' racers. It was incredible. Seeing it on TV is just so different from seeing it live. It's like what Baudrillard said about the 'aura' we have lost in mass communication.

It was great watching the large groups go by. They weren't the elite, the athletes who ran marathons professionally. Just ordinary people who sweated and trained for this day. They weren't sailing through it like it was easy, it was difficult all right, but they were doing it anyway. Story of the human struggle. From all ages and races, but all in great shape.

The best part is that some people wear their names on their clothes, and we would all just shout "Go Dave! Go Paul! Go Sarah!" or whoever and when they smiled or nodded acknowledgement, or they held their heads a little bit higher, you felt like you contributed in some small way.

Just one of the costumes, but there was also Spiderman, Supermans (Supermen?), Wonder Woman, a bag of McCoy crisps, a carrot, Santa Claus, Elvis, to name a few. Gordon Ramsay ran too. I don't know if I saw him but I doubt I would have recognised him anyway. I guess I didn't.

I suppose this is part of the magic of sport. Transcending borders, biases, customs, mindsets. There is only the common goal.

I wonder if I will ever be able to run 26 miles! That's 42 km okay.

Going cuckoo

I don't know why suddenly all the bitter memories of the year came rushing back. When you're left alone too long with nothing to do but study your mind starts getting weird. Or you start using multiple exclamation marks. I hate the feeling of helplessness, I hate looking back and thinking "how pathetic". Letting all those things happen. Drowning in self-pity, that's always the easy way out isn't it? Those feelings of frustration, that sensation of trying to break through the brick wall but instead breaking yourself. The feelings of regret and wanting to scream "I am not that person!" but knowing that it would be a lie. Inability to face yourself. Inability to let go of mistakes past, stories past, ghosts long gone. Feeling so immensely furious with yourself and not knowing what to do because you have to live with yourself every day. Cloaking and masking everything under the hustle and bustle of scurrying around and busying yourself with mundane monotonous tasks. Smiling and laughing and small talk. Life goes on and on. Is that what we do? To escape the shadows in our head. It's just hard to see the light of day sometimes.

Sun and smiles

So there was a package for me today, and I thought it was going to be the fan I ordered from Argos. (It's getting really hot here! ---actually I don't want to open my window too wide because there are a lot of insects e.g. wasps! But that's another story).

But then I saw the words all over it were Spanish and it wasn't exactly the right shape for a fan...
The postmark was:

And on opening....

*SQUEAL* 2 kilos of Argentinian chocolates! My "care package"! Just what I need in this difficult and stressful time of pre-exams.. So sweeeet. I was really surprised! And somehow I don't have good luck with surprises.. attempts to surprise me never really work out. So this was nice.

The sender says: "They're called alfajors, and they eat it everywhere here [in Argentina]. The ones in the ziplock bag are the artesanales ones from Bariloche, and the El Cachafaz brand is in the golden wrapper, which some say is one of the best commercial ones."

This totally made my day. Thank you! :)

And to top it off, the weather today was beautiful.

For those you love.

"And you owe it to them to be the very best version of yourself.
The version where you fight for what you want.
The version where you're not afraid to be great.
You're better for them when you're living your dreams, man.
And there is nothing -- nothing selfish about that."

-OTH, 6x10

Distance.

If you have a goal and you're serious about it, then this is what you have to do, right?

You should be able to do what needs to be done, right?

You shouldn't be finding it this hard, right?

Catharsis... again.

So I am supposed to be well in the midst of studying, and I am also supposed to have some superb momentum propelling me from each productive day to the next.

Well, we can all dream, can't we.

This is going to be a totally off-tangent post about a TV show -- namely, One Tree Hill.

I just have to say that One Tree Hill, up to this point, has to be one of the most mature, well-developed and realistic dramas I have ever watched. Sure, it has its share of dramatic scenes, and incredulous-ness (come on, the dog and the heart?) but in terms of relationships and romance, it definitely does not fall short. Everything (well, almost everything) that happens to the couples and would-be couples is real and believable. They struggle with real issues that real couples have, and some of them hit home really hard. I can totally empathise with the characters, and feel how real their pain and conflict is. Because that kind of thing does happen.

The show is in its sixth season and I'm really surprised with how it's turned out after so long. There are some powerful scenes and quality acting in there, and every other episode makes me cry! I'm glad they graduated from high school though, it's given the show some real depth. The recurring theme this season seems to be more inspiring and motivational -- about not giving up and always trying your best. It applies to everyone's storylines more so this season. It is nice seeing some people fighting back and kicking ass though (e.g. Brooke vs psycho -- a lot of those show up in Tree Hill).

Of course, the all-time stars for me are the perennial bringers of hope, Nathan and Haley. If there was an award for Best Onscreen Couple they would be it. Granted, some things were kind of a stretch, but you can't deny the power of their story. Who could predict back in Season 1 that this jock boy-smart girl combination would turn out to become this strong, amazing couple that so surpasses any kind of stereotype that anyone ever had. Their evolution is just incredible and believable at the same time. I mean, it's not that their relationship was smooth sailing all the way, far from it. That's exactly why they're so popular, I suppose. They are my favourite part of the whole show.

Okay, that was a longer rant than I expected. But watching this show just gives me this... feeling of catharsis.

"Sometimes, the beauty is in the attempt." -Season 6 Episode 18 'Searching for a Former Clarity'